Recently, I recieved this book ("Behind Every Good Man" By John Bythway) from my former mother in law. At first, I was a little offended. Why did she give this to me? A good friend of mine and I pondered and laughed at it. She was relieved that it was for me and not her. LOL I wondered, tho: Was it a jab at me for the fact that I divorced her son? Does she think I needed this before (with him)? That I wasn't a good enough wife? Did she think I wasn't already trying to do this in my life (especially since I got divorced)?
Then it hit me... it doesn't matter WHY she gave it to me. I don't care if those were her reasons, even if well sugar- coated. The author is one of my absolute favorite speakers. So, I read the book. I'm so very glad i did. I found that I do a lot of the things that the book suggests: writing notes of praise and encouragement to my husband, not nagging as much and such. There are also some things I want to be better at.
It is about 130 pages and very easy to read. I read the book seamlessly and quickly (about an hour and a half). After I was done, I wrote a quick, very much a heartfelt letter of thanks and praise to my husband. He truly is a blessing to my life. Maybe I realize it so much more because of the challenges and disappointments of my first marriage. I can see the vast differences between the two. So again, it didn't matter why she gave it to me... the message of the book is what matters.
Let us all praise the good in our husbands. This will make them want to strive to be better and continue to recieve the praise. Try to balance out 1 negative (can you fix this) with 5 praises (man you make a mean pancake hun). :) This is the wonderful cycle of a good (or improving) marriage.
I love my husband and I am going to continue to try and show him more praise and rewards (as they put it inthe book). I hope you will do the same for yours.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Divorce
I've been seeing this one quote on Facebook a lot about how this couple stayed married for a LONG time: "we came from a time where if something was broken we fixed it, not threw it away." It really got me thinking.
We see a lot of negative hype against marriage. People think "oh you gave up on your marriage." You get a lot of bad looks from people that have no idea about the situation or reasons behind the divorce. I have been there. I was that single mom that people stared at, glared at and judged. Let me tell you a few things about divorce.
My divorce has been one of the most important and difficult decisions I have ever made in my entire life. You see, most people saw us (my ex and myself) as a seemingly nice couple/family. They saw me smile when I talked to other people. They saw me happily, and sometimes unhappily, tend to my infant son. They saw my ex's arm around my shoulders at Church. What they didn't see was the anxiety I had at the thought of going home after work. They didn't see me being the sole provider for my son and tending to all the household chores, dog, etc while my husband was distracted with other things while being at home. They didn't see the verbal and emotional abuse I endured. They didn't see my son beg for attention from his father.
It is unfair for strangers to judge divorcees for any reason. You never know if that smiling woman at church is being beat at night... or if she is made to be lesser than her husband at home. You do not know if there is infedility or any other possible issue going on in that home that you simply do not see.
I did not throw my marriage away. I begged for us to go to counselling... civilian or church related many many times. I had hope for our future. I was told "no. I don't want to. We don't have any issues." When we did go to counselling, nothing was really accomplished. Anyone can check the block in front of a doc and go home and put that list of "ways to improve" in the trash.
I worked extremely hard to FIX my marriage. One key thing that others need to see is that you can not fix a relationship of two people with only one person working. It has to be a team effort. You have to make sure that both people are working their hardest for that relationship. One person can not do it alone.
The saying is true to an extent that things are easily thrown away in our day and time, but that is not always the case. We should break the stigma of all divorces indicating that they just gave up and threw it away. Sometimes, you become a victim of circumstances that you can not control. Please be nice and not judge.
I am so thankful for my divorce. It stopped me from continually being the victim of verbal and emotional abuse and separation. It helped me to raise my son in a healthy environment. It opened the door of opportunity to meet my current husband and to know real love. I know that getting a divorce was also one of the best decisions I made in my life.
Disclaimer: This was not intended for anyone in specific, it was just on my mind.
Please Click on one of the ads in the little square boxes (let the page pop up) and help me earn some $$. Thank you.
We see a lot of negative hype against marriage. People think "oh you gave up on your marriage." You get a lot of bad looks from people that have no idea about the situation or reasons behind the divorce. I have been there. I was that single mom that people stared at, glared at and judged. Let me tell you a few things about divorce.
My divorce has been one of the most important and difficult decisions I have ever made in my entire life. You see, most people saw us (my ex and myself) as a seemingly nice couple/family. They saw me smile when I talked to other people. They saw me happily, and sometimes unhappily, tend to my infant son. They saw my ex's arm around my shoulders at Church. What they didn't see was the anxiety I had at the thought of going home after work. They didn't see me being the sole provider for my son and tending to all the household chores, dog, etc while my husband was distracted with other things while being at home. They didn't see the verbal and emotional abuse I endured. They didn't see my son beg for attention from his father.
It is unfair for strangers to judge divorcees for any reason. You never know if that smiling woman at church is being beat at night... or if she is made to be lesser than her husband at home. You do not know if there is infedility or any other possible issue going on in that home that you simply do not see.
I did not throw my marriage away. I begged for us to go to counselling... civilian or church related many many times. I had hope for our future. I was told "no. I don't want to. We don't have any issues." When we did go to counselling, nothing was really accomplished. Anyone can check the block in front of a doc and go home and put that list of "ways to improve" in the trash.
I worked extremely hard to FIX my marriage. One key thing that others need to see is that you can not fix a relationship of two people with only one person working. It has to be a team effort. You have to make sure that both people are working their hardest for that relationship. One person can not do it alone.
The saying is true to an extent that things are easily thrown away in our day and time, but that is not always the case. We should break the stigma of all divorces indicating that they just gave up and threw it away. Sometimes, you become a victim of circumstances that you can not control. Please be nice and not judge.
I am so thankful for my divorce. It stopped me from continually being the victim of verbal and emotional abuse and separation. It helped me to raise my son in a healthy environment. It opened the door of opportunity to meet my current husband and to know real love. I know that getting a divorce was also one of the best decisions I made in my life.
Disclaimer: This was not intended for anyone in specific, it was just on my mind.
Please Click on one of the ads in the little square boxes (let the page pop up) and help me earn some $$. Thank you.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Spiritual Guidance
On Sunday our Bishop gave us these 10 suggestions that will greatly improve our lives.
- Take time to be Holy
- Remember the blessings you have been given and remember the Lord, every day.
- Have prayer where you really communicate with our Heavenly Father.
- Study the Scriptures. Even if it is only a few verses. Keep a study journal to help you really ponder what you are reading.
- Study the Words of the Living Prophets
- Read and Ponder our Patriarchal Blessings, Regularly.
- Fulfilling our callings. Do not do them halfway.
- Serve others and serve them often.
- Keep the commandments in your daily lives.
- Go to the Temple often.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
My Army Life
Today, I heard a soldier being corrected for saying he hated the Army. That was followed by another Non Commissioned Officer saying the reasons why the Army has been good to him... No, I'm not saying I absolutely LOVE the Army or that nothing bad has happened to me b/c of this job! But here are the reasons why I am thankful for my job in the Army:
1. Pays for my college 100%
2. Paid for my vehicle 100%
3. Paid for the prenatal and birthing of my child 100%
4. Paid leave.
5. Specialized training.
6. Opportunites that I'd never have had other wise.
7. Chances to excell based on MY determination (or lack thereof).
8. I have met some GREAT people because of it.
9. I get to shape the lives of junior soldiers and help them through hard times because of my previous experiences.
Yes, the birth experience with my son was awful... but at least I did not have to pay a huge medical bill. :) With my bonus, and some personal savings, I paid off my car in a little over 2 years. I am truly thankful for this job. It may be hard and not always fun, but no job really is. In our economy, I'm thankful to have a job at all. Count your blessings.
1. Pays for my college 100%
2. Paid for my vehicle 100%
3. Paid for the prenatal and birthing of my child 100%
4. Paid leave.
5. Specialized training.
6. Opportunites that I'd never have had other wise.
7. Chances to excell based on MY determination (or lack thereof).
8. I have met some GREAT people because of it.
9. I get to shape the lives of junior soldiers and help them through hard times because of my previous experiences.
Yes, the birth experience with my son was awful... but at least I did not have to pay a huge medical bill. :) With my bonus, and some personal savings, I paid off my car in a little over 2 years. I am truly thankful for this job. It may be hard and not always fun, but no job really is. In our economy, I'm thankful to have a job at all. Count your blessings.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Positivity
Lately, the little man has been sick. Even tho he has his whiny times, He seems to excude this positivity. Maybe it is because he trusts us to help him get better... maybe it's just his temperment. I am thankful for his more often than not positive attitude.
I don't think most people realize how easily things in life can be turned around with a little positivity. I used to be soooo negative when I first joined the military. One day I had a wake up call from a certain SGT. After that, I had a goal in mind to write a journal entry a day of something nice and positive that I did that day. The first entries went like this "Said hello and smiled at someone I didn't know. He looked confused at first, but seemed to smile afterwards." and "Drove PVT Mcgee to PT with me this morning, tho she is a bit annoying. It was too cold to let her walk."
After a few weeks of this, it all became a habit. I do these things without thinking of them. I love to see that my soldiers come into my office upset, but leave happier. I hope that my positivity will continue to spread to my son. I love that through my actions of helping others and doing things around the house inspire him to do the same. After all, all we can really do as parents is to be the best example as possible and help our children be the best they can.
I don't think most people realize how easily things in life can be turned around with a little positivity. I used to be soooo negative when I first joined the military. One day I had a wake up call from a certain SGT. After that, I had a goal in mind to write a journal entry a day of something nice and positive that I did that day. The first entries went like this "Said hello and smiled at someone I didn't know. He looked confused at first, but seemed to smile afterwards." and "Drove PVT Mcgee to PT with me this morning, tho she is a bit annoying. It was too cold to let her walk."
After a few weeks of this, it all became a habit. I do these things without thinking of them. I love to see that my soldiers come into my office upset, but leave happier. I hope that my positivity will continue to spread to my son. I love that through my actions of helping others and doing things around the house inspire him to do the same. After all, all we can really do as parents is to be the best example as possible and help our children be the best they can.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Husband
I haven't written on here in a LONG time. Today I am thankful for my sweet Husband. Today he helped our boy, who was sick. :( But at least our son wanted to snuggle more than usual.
"Are you my friend?" He asks me.
"Yes, I am. But I'm Momma first."
My wonderful Hubby took care of me this week as well. I didn't feel good and he brought me dinner in bed. Then I got to go to sleep at 7 pm. It was great to get some much needed sleep in. He truly is a great blessing to our family.
"Are you my friend?" He asks me.
"Yes, I am. But I'm Momma first."
My wonderful Hubby took care of me this week as well. I didn't feel good and he brought me dinner in bed. Then I got to go to sleep at 7 pm. It was great to get some much needed sleep in. He truly is a great blessing to our family.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)